Testimonials

what is a funeral celebrant?

What is my job as a Celebrant and what do I provide?

A funeral director told me that when he visits a family he advises, “If you want a service about God or centred around your religious faith, ask a minister to lead it. If you want a service about this person who has died, ask a Celebrant.”  

I believe the main priority of a Celebrant is to provide you with a service that meets your needs. These needs might include:

  • How much (or how little) you want said about the person who died, for example:

    • story of their life,

    • the significance of that life to you and others,

    • conveying the essence of who that person was,

    • finding words that express your thoughts and feelings about them as closely as we can,

    • paying your respects / honouring the life that has ended

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  • Choosing the right music / poems / readings (if you want those things).

  • Finding hymns or a prayer (or not, if you don’t want them) – many people who choose a celebrant do so particularly because they do not want a religious service; but some people want to include favourite hymns or might ask for The Lord’s Prayer. I am not committed to any religion, but I respect the faith of others and am happy to include what is needed.

  • Time before the service to talk about the person who has died and feel properly heard as you do so. If you wish it, I will do my best to visit you at home. Sometimes (e.g. because of Covid) it has been more practical to have an online video call, which I can set up for you. This meeting usually takes 1 to 2 hours. I enjoy every aspect of being a celebrant, but especially listening to people talking about someone they have loved. I will ask questions that will draw out your thoughts and memories and help you to focus on what this person meant to you. Even when relationships have been complicated and perhaps the person who died was not the easiest of people to be around, I am interested to help you tell your truth as you want it said and minimise any disagreement with other mourners.

  • Full consultation as to the final content of the service – I don’t want you to have any surprises during the funeral, so I will always make sure you have been able to read everything I have written well beforehand and have time to make any changes required. This ensures the facts are correct and the tone and expression of the service is as you want it to be.

  • Being available for support with the service from the time I am asked to lead it until the service has been completed. Because of my work I may not be able to answer when you call, but I will always get back to you as quickly as I can if you leave a message.

  • Being willing to wear something different… e.g. follow a colour scheme or fit in with football colours. I once sewed the badge of a favourite team to the back of my black velvet coat because the widow had asked for mourners to wear the shirts of her husband’s team. 

  • I aim to arrive for the service half an hour before it starts and to stay afterwards until all the mourners have left. 

  • With any funeral and celebration of life, my goal is always to create and deliver a service that meets the needs of the bereaved as closely as possible.

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Testimonials for Nicola Dunkley

‘Words can’t fully express how grateful we are for the support and guiding hand you gave us to ensure we were able to give my mother the funeral she and we wanted. Thank you once again for all you did for us.’
‘We wanted to sincerely thank you for the fantastic way you led Mum’s funeral. Your words were just right and we know Mum would have fully approved. Thank you with our love and best wishes.’
‘Thank you very much for helping us with the memorial celebration for my Dad on Saturday. It really helped to have you there, your contribution was really appropriate. I was so pleased you suggested the Welsh, it really added to the occasion. We were very pleased it went so well. Thank you again for all your care.’
‘I can’t thank you enough for a lovely service. Everyone commented on how lovely it was; my brothers and family were very happy. It was perfect. The day was beautiful. I will also let the funeral director know how happy we are with the kind and sensitive way you were when addressing the family directly; and the way you put across my sister and her life in a most heart-warming way. I will sing your praises!’
‘Thank you so much for your patience and flexibility last week – it was so valuable to me to know that there was a wonderful plan in place that I could trust.’
‘When our father passed away we knew Dad wanted to be cremated. The funeral directors got in touch with Nicola Dunkley. Nicola was lovely from the start – compassionate, understanding and very supportive. We were able to see a draft of the service prior to the day. We communicated via phone and email. Nicola conducted Dad’s service professionally. It was just perfect. Thank you, Nicola, from all of his family.’
‘Thank you for giving a sensitive and realistic portrayal of …at the funeral last week. The family really appreciated the way you pulled all the complex strands of his life and character together.’
‘I have just spoken with … and I just wanted to inform you that they were extremely happy with the service you delivered for…. Thanks once again for your help.’ (Funeral Director)
‘Thank you so much for your help and support today. We felt that the whole event went exactly as… would have wished and many people said to us that it was the best service they’d ever been to.’
‘Hi Nicola I wanted to thank you for telling the story of dad at his funeral. It was lovely and so many people have said how nice it was. I think he would have been very humbled but would also have loved seeing all of the people there. It would have meant so much to him.’
‘Thank you so much for your contemplative bestowal yesterday of …'s life. With gratitude and kind thoughts.’
‘I am so pleased at how the whole day went and how well it was planned and consulted by you. I have those memories to hold forever.’
‘Just to say so many thanks for today. It was a wonderful occasion and many commended you on your choice of words and for conducting things in such a calm and respectful way, full of grace and humour. It was a great privilege to have your input.’
‘A note from us as a family to thank you so much for the beautiful service you did for Mum yesterday. You helped us so much in bringing our thoughts and memories together to give Mum a lovely send off. We hugely appreciate it and it couldn’t have been any better. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.’
‘I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness, sympathy and most importantly empathy yesterday. It was so lovely that you gave my father time to settle each and every time he needed to. It made the world of difference to him but also me. He also wanted me to thank you for organising everything so nicely, people did comment about the service to him and I think that has brought him some comfort.’